Awesome and Why

Yesterday was amazing for me...did dishes, plus laundry, swept and mopped the floors, vacuumed everything...just didn't get the mending started or done.

Fighting again to get the CPAP mask to fit just right...actually had a nose bleed this morning from some part of it physically pressing against the bridge area of my nose.

Actually, what I was gonna wordily wander about was why I gained so much weight. I have before, but gained while Norm was here. I can lose it - but what is stopping me this time?

Louise Hay saw the metaphysical root of alcoholism as futility. I think that is true for my food addiction. I see no point, other than my health. I don't expect to fall in love again and have the feeling be mutual - and the relationship reasonably healthy - so what's to shoot for? It's a deep feeling of futility.

The church thing...I was at the outdoor service and sang, and at the picnic afterwards had fun. I FINALLY got rid of the bottles of mustard and relish in the fridge!

I thought I might go to church today - but I didn't.

I want hope and joy again, I want an active life. All I can do is put it out there.

Julie Spence Crane - I waited too long to phone you. :-(

Today I thought about the archaeologists of the future. What the heck are they gonna do with all the cyber information? For the first time in archaeological history, there will be enough information for them to see that a sizeable portion of the present population is plainly just stupid. Hopefully that will cause relief, but it may engender despair as they look around at their world and realize that some things will never change.

Stupidity - the true eternity. It alone will survive the apocalypse!

http://www.odt.co.nz/opinion/opinion/105961/pressure-change-christian-expression

Pressure for change in Christian expression

Home » Opinion » Opinion

Fri, 14 May 2010

Opinion | Faith and reason

Ian Harris considers the phenomenon of "progressive Christianity".

Progressive churches are more interested in an honest search for truth than in the dubious certainty of ancient doctrinesFaith and reason

A living religion is constantly evolving.

It adapts from a particular time and culture to new times and different cultures.

Sometimes the change is gradual, sometimes abrupt.

Tensions develop between those who press for change and those who resist it.

The pattern has recurred in every religion over the centuries.

In Christianity it is happening again as a self-consciously new way of being Christian emerges, labelled loosely as "progressive Christianity".

The movement's wellspring is dissatisfaction with conservative attitudes and practices in the larger denominations, and it has been slowly and independently taking shape in New Zealand, Australia, the United States, Britain, Canada and Ireland during the past 20 years.

Pressure for change has come mainly from the grassroots, as lay people began looking for expressions of faith that take into account the huge developments in knowledge, biblical scholarship and theological understanding over the past 200 years.

Instead of skirting around those changes, they want the Churches to embrace them and move on.

A few ministers and priests who feel the same way have encouraged them.

In another age, such people would have challenged their Churches to reform, or would have broken away to form new ones.

Today, the progressives choose to retain the links with their denominational heritage, but put their energy into finding their own spiritual path in a way more attuned to our own time and place.

Some talk of it as "rewiring the Church".

It is early days, and so far just five New Zealand congregations identify themselves as progressive.

All are highly visible, however: Knox Presbyterian Churches in Dunedin and Christchurch, St Andrew's in Wellington and St Luke's in Remuera, Auckland.

The other is St Matthew's Anglican Church in central Auckland.

This predominantly city pattern is matched by Uniting Church congregations in all the Australian state capitals.

In the United States there are some hundreds of progressive parishes drawn from 17 denominations, responding to the lead given by an Episcopalian (Anglican) priest in Washington DC, the Rev Jim Adams, who set up the Centre for Progressive Christianity in 1994.

Those churches have in common an emphasis on seeking an authentic spirituality for our times, rather than assuming that their churches have all the answers pre-packaged and expressed, firmly and finally, in their authorised liturgies.

Signing up to ancient creeds and doctrines is therefore not on those congregations' agenda.

Instead, the focus is on building communities bearing what one minister calls "the dangerous memory of Jesus", and exploring what that means for living today.

Progressive churches are more interested in an honest search for truth than in the dubious certainty of ancient doctrines.

They take the Bible seriously but not literally: it remains a prime spiritual resource, but not the only one.

They are open to all that modern science is revealing about the world and the cosmos, and expect to see that reflected in their worship.

Another emphasis is that they are more concerned about the way people treat each other than how they define their beliefs.

They oppose any dogma that limits free inquiry, and hold to a model of Christian community that emphasises the "fair, open, peaceful and loving treatment of all human beings".

Progressives are therefore ready to welcome on equal terms those whom many of their sister churches find it hard to accept, including homosexuals and feminists.

Secure in their own Christian understanding, they reject any claim that all other spiritual paths are in error, and have moved beyond polite acknowledgment of other world religions to respect.

Along with their liberal counterparts, they are concerned not just to alleviate poverty and social injustice but to address their causes, so they advocate for fairer communities, peace and the environment.

They underpin this by nurturing a spirituality centred on the stories, symbols and themes of their Christian heritage, but seek to express it in imaginative styles of worship which many traditionalists would find disconcerting.

Progressive Christians see themselves as providing a safe place for many for whom organised religion has proved ineffectual, irrelevant or repressive.

Though relatively few parishes have identified themselves as progressive, there are laypeople in most Churches who would find its approach attractive - and, obviously, many who would not.

Websites have sprung up to link them, for example tcpc.org in the United States.

It would be easy to claim too much for progressive Christianity, as it would be to claim too little.

The important thing is that it is here, it is vigorous, and it won't be going away.

• Ian Harris is a journalist and commentator.

Some nothings

I like days when I am feeling "nothing", and I have had more and more of them in the past several months.

Of course, it's really not "nothing"; just that I am feeling way more even. This certainly felt WEIRD for a while!

Also, waking up earlier in the morning. I find it hard to get out of bed, simply because I don't yet know what to do with the extra time. ;-)

Certainly I need to take even 15 minutes to just MOVE - I am heavier in body than ever, and my knees hurt sometimes, and I need to prevent damage (some may already have occurred!).

Meeting a friend from church for coffee tomorrow; she works there too. And I had coffee and a talk the other day with another friend from church.

Don't know if I will attend on Sunday; I'll wait until Sunday and see what happens. I would much rather have the talk with G first before I decide. But I do think I need a break.

Over the last few days, I have heard robins singing, grackles grackling LOL - when I have walked, I have not power walked and rushed...I have just walked. I've stopped to touch and notice the budding leaves on the trees; at that slower pace, I see and greet several people I know.

There are many good days - I am a good person.

I love today.

Adults have tantrums

I do, for sure. Let little things, both known and unknown, build up til I explode. There are saner ways to make a decision.

When G returns, I do owe an amends for the impersonal way in which I contacted him to let him know what I was doing. I really didn't even have to let him know...but as he said, 'after 6 - 7 years, an email? Get real.'

I was acting out of fear...and in the last 24 hours it has dawned on me that dealing that way with ANYONE I have known for even 2 years is likely to be really hurtful.

G and that church community have supported me through a lot. I owe them much, not the least of which is a direct and loving relationship, and an honest one as well.

I must remember to not judge my insides by someone else's outsides.

Onward. Together.

Dear G

These days I am calm, moods are even; I am enjoying a new lease on health and growth. I tell you this in case any assurance is needed that I am not angry with anyone, or upset.

It's just that recently, and now, I have no idea what I am doing in the church. I have no idea why I am there.

I cannot see where to grow, or how; no direction is clear to me. As long as I have tried, I cannot take as literal truth the basis of Christianity as outlined in the Nicene Creed. I have stood with everyone else when we say it, but I have not said it for weeks.

I used to be able to make some sort of peace with everything - but finally reached a crisis, in the Greek sense. Things I always heard without listening now grate on me. The Eucharist no longer makes sense. When it was my turn to read the readings for the day, I used to feel warm, eager to communicate what the original writer might have meant, to make the words real.

The last time I read, I felt dry. I just spoke the words.

The music...having worked occasionally as a music director in the past, I know that ensemble voices must blend, and that my voice does not work with the other singers in that capacity. I settled for being a team member, with J and A bringing in their keyboard so I could provide extra instrumentation.

I miss singing tremendously. I note I said "I settled". Settling for and true acceptance are not the same thing to me.

What grates me here is how often the word "I" is used. Egocentric. I know I am loved there by many, and I am breaking into tears as I write this.

But I don't have any reason or purpose there any more. I feel detached, distant, unaffected.

G, the only reason I write to you about this is because I have known you a long while. I know I don't need "permission" or anything like that.

I have been through a lot of change, all good, and I am taking an indefinite break from A.S.C. I have to.

If by some chance you are baffled by this, I can only assure you that I am the same. So many things in my life from the past 10 years just do not fit any more.

Thank you, G. Thank you for everything.

Candace

Sunday, March 28

Could hardly keep it together during the service today. I guess there's no harm children believing in stories, but to be told they actually historically happened with no options, I just have to leave that alone.

I was angry, and broke out sobbing after church. Tara and Anne spoke with me - Anne bought coffee and we talked at a coffee shop. Greg put his arm around me, was honestly concerned...I felt like I had to leave this church where I have spent almost 10 incredible years, some very painful.

I don't have to decide today.

What the hell am I doing wrong? I don't socialize, no boyfriend, and there are lots of good men around.

I hope to finish this book today and then pass it on to Greg.

So hard to ignore the liturgical untruths; I never have believed them. But Anne and Tara and Greg all admit to having periods of doubt...Greg says I am going through purification and that I will come out the other side.

I'm just tired of all the crap.

Even tonight's socialization...it has a purpose, a discussion, a point. I just wanna have fun for a change!

Rant rant rant...hope I get all computers done.

I want to be free from this. A break. Money coming in. I have no expensive vices, not even TV.

That's it for today. ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!

I know how to move, but

Have fallen off the walking wagon. I FINALLY got out to the walking group several weeks ago.

Over the past 2 weeks, location has changed once...and I couldn't keep up with some and had no one to talk to...then there were slower walkers I could walk with and talk to...but I don't have wife/mother/grandmother/neighbour stuff to talk about. *sigh*

I plotted out a good route across from my building last fall. I used it twice.

It was doing me GOOD...and my aches and pains were gone, chiro adjustments improved greatly.

Now my hip is starting to hurt again. How do I break this inertia? I think of a few things I can do and then I don't do anything. :-(

That's my grump for the day.