Well - some 10 or 11 years later, I write.

My mom died in August of 2021. She declined so quickly in her last month, her health and body tumbling down a hill. Her younger sister had died on June 7th, having contracted another bout of cancer which could be successfully treated as the other ones had been. However, she was sick and tired of doctors and medication and decided to let the disease take its course - and her.

In October, one of the twin boys of my second cousin didn't wake up one morning. Five and a half months old.  In December, Linda finally succumbed to her cancer.

On February 13th my dearest heart kitty Oscar died here at home. 

I just hurt - I really, really hurt. Badly. I want a day off, a holiday. With Mom's progressive disease I was giving and giving for a few years. These days, I don't want to drive to meetings etc...I want someone to drive me, someone to take care of me for a bit. In lieu of that, I don't do much for others any more. I'm running close to empty all the time.

Time. I guess that's what it takes. And I do have some.

I hurt so much, so much...