Could hardly keep it together during the service today. I guess there's no harm children believing in stories, but to be told they actually historically happened with no options, I just have to leave that alone.
I was angry, and broke out sobbing after church. Tara and Anne spoke with me - Anne bought coffee and we talked at a coffee shop. Greg put his arm around me, was honestly concerned...I felt like I had to leave this church where I have spent almost 10 incredible years, some very painful.
I don't have to decide today.
What the hell am I doing wrong? I don't socialize, no boyfriend, and there are lots of good men around.
I hope to finish this book today and then pass it on to Greg.
So hard to ignore the liturgical untruths; I never have believed them. But Anne and Tara and Greg all admit to having periods of doubt...Greg says I am going through purification and that I will come out the other side.
I'm just tired of all the crap.
Even tonight's socialization...it has a purpose, a discussion, a point. I just wanna have fun for a change!
Rant rant rant...hope I get all computers done.
I want to be free from this. A break. Money coming in. I have no expensive vices, not even TV.
That's it for today. ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!
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I hope you get to have fun, that your computers get done, and that you get a break. When you do come out the other side I bet you will be stronger.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
elyse