Sunday, March 21, 2010

In Transition - what I am starting to not know

Just to recap an earlier post...that piercing sweet feeling I get when thinking of Ontario in the fall? It's shame. Pure shame. I was unwell then - unsettled, certainly eccentric, perhaps no more than some people around me. But I did have friends - and tons of creativity. That was before I got diagnosed and medicated.

Oh, I am still "me" on medication, and I do need to earn a living. The latter has rarely been possible for the past 10 years at LEAST; my all-time high was about $22,000 before taxes. Yikes.

Actually, in my latest period of recovery, some creativity is coming back. But I have no drive or passion anymore, not like the hyper urgent and constant rush that used to rule my life.

So yes, I am ashamed of my moods and behaviour then. I somehow knew no better.

I do now. Next task - self forgiveness.

Go easy on yourself, folks.

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