Sunday, December 19, 2010

Time to realize a few things...

I am not going to be famous or sought-after; no singing and performing career for me. I came as close to my dreams as I could. My old life of being an active addict did not help me take myself or my career more seriously, nor instilled the necessary discipline.

If I had it to do over, I would have recorded my CD in Vancouver. Also, I was in a real musical family in Ontario and starting to get into the folk clubs. :-( I had joy and confidence in performing MY material, because folk club fans totally expect and want that.

I will not be happily married - thinking about it, I am really not marriageable material. As someone I know noted, once you pass a certain age, you are invisible - unless you already have a partner.

A full-time thriving career of any kind is not to be had. I have the brains and talent, but have been tripped up for a lifetime with the ADD, Sleep Apnea and Dysthymia.

I want a new direction. It is not at all too late. But for what? I do not know.

I write all these to still the restless what-ifs. Those are done.

It is finished. A new road begins. Lead on, Creator.